Loose Ends
by anaya's lines
Summary: It is the night of the wedding, the time to bid farewell. Will Donna Paulsen and Harvey Specter finally realise their own feelings, and those towards each other?
1. Chapter 1

_**A big hello to all Suitors and Darvey shippers! This is my first time writing a fic, and it is a Darvey one :) It is a what you may call a 'quickie', and won't take too much of your time. So do read it, and send in reviews, I'd love to hear from ya'll! Happy reading ;)**_

 **PART ONE**

After the tear-jerking wedding vows have been said, and Rachel Robert Zane and Michael James Ross have finally reached the point in their lives, that few close ones seated in that hall had been rooting for since 7 years, the gathering slowly thins.

Sincere goodbyes have been said to the attendees. But for Mike and Rachel, one goodbye is not enough for two people that have always held a special place in their lives.

Mike, standing contently with his wife's hand in his, looks at her, almost with a reluctant urgency.

"Give me two minutes, I've got some business to attend to" he smiles.

Rachel does not prod, because she knows exactly where he is going. She smiles and gives him an understanding nod.

—

Harvey is solemnly sitting at the bar, cordially smiling at people giving him admiring looks for the best-closer-in-the-city-turned-best-man today.

"I doubt batman would look as sullen on Robin's wedding." comes a familiar voice.

The forced cordial smile now turns into a genuine one as he faces his protege cum best friend of seven years (although he'd never admit the latter out loud).

"Don't you call yourself Robin, you're only an abandoning asshole!" Harvey taunts.

"And sullen you say? I just pocketed the numbers of three _fairly_ attractive females, without even asking for them. I'm on top of the world!" He adds with his usual cocky grin.

"Ugh I feel deeply sorry for those three females, they have NO clue about what a douchebag hides under this fancy tux." Mike retorts.

"So, you've come here to cry about how much you will miss me everyday?" Harvey grins.

"I would've loved to deny that Harvey, but sadly you've read my feelings correctly. I am going to miss you."

"Well I'm generally right about a lot of stuff-

No wait, strike generally, make it always."

"Eh, not always. Especially not about reading…feelings" Mike cautiously ventures, hoping Harvey won't clam shut as he usually does.

"What do you mean?" Harvey pretends, knowing exactly where Mike is going. The number of drinks he has poured down makes him feel both fatigued and bold. He is tired of resisting this topic off Mike and feels bold enough to hear the truth that he is going to hit him with.

"You Harvey. Your feelings. And of that one hell of a woman, embodying all possible adjectives I know." he motions over to the dainty looking lady to the far end of the room, standing next to his wife where he left her, donning a striking black dress.

Donna.

Harvey wants to dismiss this discussion with Mike with his usual quips or dry responses when it comes to emotional subjects. But he knows only too well that a dismissal this time will leave his friend disappointed. He looks down at his empty glass of scotch and calls for another one.

Judging by Harvey's non-aggressive reaction, Mike knows progress has been finally made. Unlike every other time he shut himself down, there is a look of knowingness on his face. Mike feels rejoiced at the possibility of acceptance setting in.

"It has been thirteen years Mike. If I let any of my suppressed emotions out at this time, they will only erupt. And that eruption will probably burn this firm to ashes. After all we've been through, I cannot let my jumbled emotions be the reason this firm goes down."

Clearly an opening, Mike decides that this is the perfect time to let it all out and prods further. "It has been thirteen years Harvey. And if you keep finding things to hide behind, it will be twenty years, then twenty five, then thirty! How long are you going to run away from it?

Today is that happiest day of my life that I could only dream of when I was in prison. And the thought of it never happening drove me crazy. I don't only feel _literally_ on top of the world today, but also largely relieved that the nightmare of being away from Rachel all those months is actually over, and nothing now can take it away from me.

I promise you Harvey, the day _that_ woman walks down the aisle towards you, the sense of relief, satisfaction and happiness you will feel will be far greater." Mike finishes.

The Harvard educated lawyer's mind immediately builds arguments as counter, but his heart condemns all of them as inadmissible.

Harvey nods at Mike in an appreciative manner, thinking about how all his friend wants to talk to him about in these parting moments, is his love life.

He raises his hand for a final shake, but then thinks that the gesture is insufficient for the moment. He hugs him instead and whispers in Mike's ear -

"I'll miss my Robin."

—

Rachel is standing towards the exit doors, bidding the last guests goodbye with her polite smile while waiting for her husband to return, when a voice behind her calls out -

"Michelle Ross?"

She turns, recognizing the voice and the words immediately.

"Harriet Specter! I didn't think you would come to my wedding, so nice to see you here." Rachel answers in a pleasant but purposely rehearsed tone.

"I didn't know the last time we had drinks together, it would be the last day of your single life! I wouldn't miss this day for the world." Donna/Harriet replies.

"Well I've been married for about 60 minutes, and it feels nice. You should give it a try too someday, you know. Date some rich hotshot."

"Eh well, I prefer conning my way into the bed, rather than commit to some workaholic doofus with terrible taste in suits and ties." mocks Donna.

And both of them break into giggles.

Rachel gets a teasing look on her face that is enough for Donna to knowingly ask "What's the matter?"

"Is Harriet Specter ever going to become Donna Specter?" Rachel inquires innocently.

The residual smile on Donna's face slowly disappears. Although the question is posed in a light-hearted manner, the weight of it settles in on her. Her eyes flicker to the two men at the bar and rest a brief second longer at the slightly older one in the tuxedo.

To leave Donna Paulsen at a loss of words is a rarity to achieve, and this question hits such a tender but tightly enclosed part of her heart, that she is momentarily speechless.

Looking at Donna's reaction Rachel immediately feels guilty and her childlike beam fades. Knowing the closed natured person that her friend is, when it comes to her personal life, especially Harvey, she hopes that she has not overstepped.

"It's okay Rachel." Donna comforts, sensing the change in her friend's expression.

Rachel sighs. Visibly relieved, she finds the courage to confess what she has been wanting to say to the two idiots ever since she became part of the firm.

"Donna, I have never seen two people more in sync with each other than you and Harvey. I know I am treading on thin ice here, but you know him by the back of your hand and he keeps his door of emotions open only for one person and that is you. I don't think I can tell you any more about Harvey than you already know. But I can tell you, that you will be in a much happier place when you put your thirteen year long suffering to end. And you're now talking to a married woman, so trust me when I say, there is nothing better when someone you love vows his life to you." Rachel ends, with a smile that is almost pleading.

"I hear you Rachel. If only things were not as complicated and lines as blurry between us, as they are, things would've been much simpler." Donna says softly in a matter-of-fact tone.

"Then my only request to you is that you will try your very best to untangle these knots. Promise me?"

 _Silence._

"Promise me or I shall prohibit you to visit me at Seattle." Rachel threatens.

Donna smiles, "Look at you all lawyering me down. Remember, I've had to deal with the best closer in the city for thirteen years, you cannot take me down Rachel Zane."

Rachel returns the smile but quickly gives her the 'I'm serious' look.

Donna hesitates a little, then finally says -

"I promise" sounding defeated.

"I'm gonna miss you Harriet"

"I'll miss you too Michelle. And I take this as an invitation to Seattle."

And they end up in a tearful embrace.

—

As Harvey sees Rachel leaving in her wedding gown arm-in-arm with her husband, an angelic vision of a redhead walking down the aisle in the gown, towards him, replaces his reality.

As Donna looks at the smile on Mike's face, walking in pace with his wife, her sight shifts to the now empty altar, and a man with a Cheshire cat smile vowing his life to her, replaces her reality.


	2. Chapter 2

**PART TWO**

 _Harvey is walking towards his office when he sees Donna standing inside. The sight of her, in an elegant white dress with a dangerous neck-line makes his heart flutter. She would make his heart flutter even if she were dressed in pyjamas, but he is too much of a fool to realise or admit that._

 _"_ _To what do I owe the pleasure of the COO coming down to my office?" He asks, striding into the office._

 _Donna does not acknowledge the remark, but stands quietly with pursed lips eyes pointing towards a letter on his desk._

 _Her eyes. They have always spoken to him in a different way._

 _Observing her expression, he immediately inquires, without even looking at the direction her eyes are pointing towards._

 _"_ _What is it Donna?"_

 _She takes a deep shaky breath. Seeing that Harvey has not bothered to look at the piece of paper on his desk, she takes it and hands it to him._

 _It's a while before Harvey's bewildered eyes leave her face and come to rest at the letter in his hand. The words float around before his eyes as he tries to fathom what they are trying to say._

 _It is a resignation letter._

 _He has gone through this drill a couple of times before, and every time it has been equally gut wrenching. He suddenly feels a mixture of angst, despair and confusion._

 _"_ _What is the meaning of this?" He manages._

 _"_ _I am leaving you Harvey" she says, not really answering the question._

 _He has heard these same words from her once before, and what he felt then is exactly how he feels now - Like someone stabbing him in the chest so hard, he actually hears a piece of him break inside._

 _"_ _Why?" He asks, appalled. Not able to understand where this is coming from, he has so many questions._

 _Donna hears the slight tremor in his voice, that only she could have noticed._

 _"_ _I cannot do this anymore." She answers. Knowing that she has to be ready with an explanation, and such vague answers are not going to be enough. She is trying to be evasive as she is dreading to say the truth._

 _"_ _What in the name of God are you talking about Donna?" He says, a little frustrated at being wound around in ambiguous lines._

 _"_ _I'd told you Harvey, I wanted more. And I hoped that you would not let me down after all these years. But it is only clear from your actions, what your intentions are. So, I've decided to not put myself through all the constant disappointment any longer."_

 _"_ _More? I made you the goddamn COO of this firm Donna! You know full well the number of allegations that have been raised on our characters for putting someone who is not a lawyer at the table. And you're saying I let you down!" Harvey's voice is raised now. He feels both anger and a deep sense of hurt at the prospect of having let down someone he dearly cares about._

 _Donna is not surprised that he completely misses the point of what she meant by more. But she does not blame him, as all this while, she too has not been very clear. In her thoughts, in her feelings, and in her communication with him._

 _"_ _Tell me Donna, what more do you want? A name on the wall? Or managing partner?" He adds, infuriated from not having received a response from her._

 _His raised voice, lights a furious spark within Donna. After all it is she who should be mad at him, for not reading things right._

 _"_ _I'm talking about us Harvey!" She cries._

 _"_ _But you're just too involved in yourself, and all you can think of is the future of this firm. I too have served this firm for ten years Harvey, and there are many others who have given every ounce of blood and sweat to it too. You're not the only one having all the responsibility. So stop being such a coward hiding yourself behind your work._

 _I'm done being a part of your self-obsessed life, and I can no longer work for someone who cannot see anything beyond these glass walls._

 _Goodbye Harvey, for ever, this time." She finishes, and storms out of the managing partner's office._

—

Harvey jerks awake, sitting bolt upright on his bed. His head hurts at the sudden movement and he reaches for the open bottle of scotch lying next to his bed, with which he drank himself to sleep last night. He hoped the alcohol would dilute the pain of Mike's departure, but the dream brings all of the pain right back.

He is more than late for work today, but that thought doesn't even cross his mind. He has only one thing on his mind, so he forces himself off the bed and heads towards the shower.

He has only one place to be, and his hangover does not slow him down.

He leaves his house to go to the place he has been to ever so often in times of distress. But this time, he heads there with another purpose in mind.


	3. Chapter 3

**PART THREE**

Back at the firm, the partners are trying to cope with the prospect of a new merger. At such a crucial time, the absence of the managing partner leaves everyone restless.

"Where in the goddamn hell is Harvey? I've been trying to reach him since the past hour!" Louis demands, ambling into the COO's office.

Donna is sitting at her desk meticulously arranging her files when Louis startles her.

"I don't know Louis." she says with a shrug.

"What do you mean you don't know Donna? He's Harvey! You know every damn second of his life!" Yells Louis.

"Louis." She says firmly.

"I think you are forgetting I am no longer his secretary.

He's probably just having a late morning. Mike leaving must have been definitely rough on him."

Louis' frustration comes down a notch as Donna knocks some empathy into him.

"I am sorry for coming at you Donna." He sighs

"I understand what Harvey must be going through, but the position at which the firm is right now, we need him to be there. Robert Zane might swoop in any minute announcing a merger, and without Harvey here things can go south.

The partners are worried Donna. It is just very unlike Harvey to not show up for something so important.

Just…let me know if you can reach him."

"Okay Louis, I will. Till he comes, I know you are capable enough to handle this. Remember, Jessica put her trust not only in Harvey but also in you when she left this firm in our hands." Donna says reassuringly.

"Thank you, Donna." Louis nods and leaves her office.

Louis does not notice the underlying worry in Donna's fake act of nonchalance, of Harvey not showing up today. But then, she has always been a good actress.

Her instincts, as sharp as ever, noted Harvey's absence long before anyone at the firm did. She has been resisting the urge to call him because she knows Mike leaving has been hard on him and wants to give him enough time and space to recuperate. Though somewhere inside her, she senses it is something more than that.

She doesn't hint about any of her concern in her talk with Louis, knowing how stressed out he already is, and can tend to get.

She had already rehearsed their conversation in her head, long before Louis arrived. And with Donna Paulsen, conversations always go according to her script. The world is too predictable for her.

The only thing she cannot decipher is what her heart is trying to say. And also, the heart of another human being.

The thought of him reminds her of Rachel's words to her, the night before. And just as fast as that thought comes into her head, the worry starts seeping in again.

It is only a matter of time before Louis comes back to ask if she has got in touch with him yet. But more than that, it is only a matter of time before she explodes with all the anxiety she's been burying within her. He has been this late only on a couple of rare occasions before.

After almost half the day having passed, she is sure this is not just about Mike anymore.

She hopes that his mother and Marcus are not in any trouble. But then if they were, he would have told her. He called her even at six in the morning. The fact that he hasn't tried to reach _her_ yet _,_ troubles her. Even though she snapped at Louis, she knows he was right. She does know every second of Harvey's life.

Or at least she did. She wonders if her decision of becoming the COO would slowly bring a distance in her relationship with him, and that thought pinches her a little.

She catches herself spiraling with these thoughts and decides to ring him finally.

She picks up her phone, and speed dials. He's been on her 'favourites' since the day she came to work for him.

It rings.

 _Once…_

 _Twice…_

 _Thrice…_

Voicemail.

She redials.

 _Ringing_

 _Once…_

 _Twice..._

 _Thrice…_

Voicemail.

With every passing ring, her heartbeat increases. She tries reaching him through her phone two more times.

No answer.

She tries calling him from the office number too, just in case.

Now her anxiety doubles. Beads of sweat are starting to form on her forehead when she opens her drawer, picks up the keys to Harvey's house and rushes out of the building.

He had given them back to her after things had ended with Paula. An intimate part of her had been pleased and relieved, although she chided herself on feeling that way.

While in the cab, on the way to his house, she tries to think of a million reasons for his uncharacteristic behaviour.

He has come this late to office, few times before, yes.

He has ignored calls from Louis and other colleagues, definitely yes.

He has ignored a call or two from Donna, twice. Out of which on one of the occasions he was toked up with Mike. And the other time he had genuinely missed her call and called her right back. He had heard enough admonitions on both those occasions to promise her never to not pick her call again, unless it was a fatal emergency.

Although he had said that last bit donning his annoyingly handsome smirk in that moment, that is what has been bothering Donna the most.

And 'bothering' is an understatement.

Her palms are wet as she keys his door ready to blow him to pieces, but there is no sight of him.

She walks over to his room and sees an empty bottle of scotch lying on his bed. Fear grips her, tight.

The empty apartment makes her more paranoid and perplexed.

She has already prepared a mental list of other places he could be at, and is walking out of the door, when her phone chimes.

"Come Home"

For one second, she goes blank, head spinning from the stress. The next second she is closing the door behind her, knowing exactly where to go.


	4. Chapter 4

**PART FOUR**

As she reaches the building, she does not even wait for the elevator. She takes the stairs to the second floor.

All she prays for, is him to be safe and in one piece. Her urgency to see him is rabid. She needs to see him. Desperately.

On reaching the landing of the second floor, she does not stop to catch her breath as she rushes towards the end of the corridor.

And there he is.

Slouched outside the door of apartment 206.

It is as if her body has been on fire all this while, and the sight of him feels like someone doused her with a bucket of ice water relieving the pain.

He is sitting with his head between his knees, hands at the back of his neck, wearing a t-shirt and sweats.

She likes it when he is dressed in casuals. It somehow makes her feel closer to him, as the professional gap created by suits and ties no longer exists.

"Harvey, what in the goddamn world were you-" she starts but is not able to finish her sentence.

Because he has stumbled onto his feet the moment he hears his name being called out by her voice, and is walking towards her in long strides before she goes off on him, as he knows she would, and kisses her.

As his lips meet hers, soft and supple, he feels a lightning bolt flash through his body. He is holding her waist, inching her closer to himself, each passing second.

She doesn't pull away. And that, he thinks is the biggest victory he has ever achieved. The elation that consumes his now, is greater than any amount of happiness he has ever felt on winning even the biggest of cases, in his fifteen year old career as an attorney.

Donna is surprised at her immobility, as pulling herself away from Harvey, sexually, comes as a reflex to her. But she doesn't want to pull back. Not today. And she slowly raises her arms, one hand in his hair, the other on his neck. She senses her body has lit up with a burning she had been suppressing since god knows how many years.

She is pushing him towards the door feverishly, when Harvey stops her.

"Wait, not this way.

We've kept _this_ at bay for years. If we have to give it a chance, it has to be done in the right manner." Harvey reasons.

Donna nods, taking out the keys to her home. While she opens the door, she marvels at how Harvey is the one being rational today and she has let her guard down for the first time in a long long while.

As they move indoors, Harvey takes Donna by the hand gently and leads her towards the couch.

Donna has regained her usual composure, and feels slightly embarrassed at being so hasty. He draws in a breath and begins talking before she can ask all that had been going on in her head since this morning and about what happened seconds ago.

"You might be having lot of questions and reprimands to throw at me, and I am hoping to answer most of them to your satisfaction. But before that, I want to tell you, I am sorry for keeping you hanging and worried throughout the day." Her hand is still in his, as he softly caresses the back of her hand with his thumb.

All that she wanted to say to him, how frantic she had been, so close to going insane for being worried sick, she decides to save it for later. Or maybe spare him from all of it after all, because Harvey being upfront, expressive and so open with her is a first, and she does not want to let anything make him go back to his distant and reserved self.

She squeezes his hand as response to his apology being accepted.

Harvey smiles at the gesture and begins.

"I'm guessing the first thing you'd want to know is where is this suddenly coming from. If I were to be very honest, I had a dream. More like a nightmare, where you said you were leaving me. And as much as I tried to douse my racing heartbeat as I woke up with alcohol, the anxiety wouldn't go away. Now I know it seems very shallow and anticlimactic that all this came from a nightmare. But you know what I realised Donna? I have been living in a nightmare for thirteen years, away from you."

Harvey feels slightly dazed as he says these words he'd never thought he'd say, especially to her. In normal circumstances, he would have felt repulsed at even hearing such cheesy lines in a movie. But today hasn't been an exactly normal day anyway.

What Donna is feeling right now is the magnified version of what a high school teen feels on being noticed by her crush. Only difference being, this is not high school, and he is way more than a crush. She flushes at such juvenile thought of hers, but she certainly experiences a deep sense of elation, that she is trying her best to hide from showing on her face.

"I appreciate your honesty Harvey, more than you can imagine. But … I have to ask, does the ache of Mike leaving play any part in this? Because you've expressed earlier how you feel when those who are family to you leave, and if you think I would _ever_ make that mistake again then I want to assure you with every ounce of assurance I can give you - it will never happen. So if you're doing all this just to keep me from leaving y-"

"No, Donna, that is not it." he cuts her off.

"Forget about a dream, I have experienced you being away from me, in real life, more than once. And you know how it ended for me the last time. Those panic attacks were not enough to make me realise how far my head was stuck up in my ass. I have been a fool Donna, denying any feelings I had for you, every time."

"Well I'm happy of the fact that you realised the part about being a fool and having your head stuck up in the ass, more than anything!" Donna chuckles, easing the tension she senses Harvey is facing, talking about emotions; his least comfortable topic.

"Seriously Donna?" he rolls his eyes, but cannot help letting out a tiny smirk.

That devastatingly suave smirk.

She looks at him, flashing her disarming smile, and places a hand on his knee.

"I have been a fool too Harvey." She admits, softly.

Harvey's eyes now possess a sparkle. Whether the sparkling is from the slight tears of overwhelming emotions or of just pure happiness, one cannot distinguish.

"And about Mike. This has got to do with more than his being there, than his leaving. I may have trained him to become the best lawyer there is, after me of course, but I must give it to the kid, he has a heart of gold. He taught me a few things here and there.

Don't tell him I said that though." He says, returning to his presumptuous self.

Donna feels an intense urge of being closer to him. Seeing this vulnerable side of him, it seems as if all her sorrows are melting away. She doesn't fight her urge, but inches nearer to him, and lays her head on his shoulder, hands still held.

Feeling her light head on his shoulder, he tilts her head onto hers and whispers -

"Donna, can I ask you something?"

"Mm-hmm?"

"How come…you didn't pull back today, you know…when I kissed you?" he asks shyly.

"Turns out I'm not the big know-it-all I claim to be." Comes the response.

"Rachel said something to me that truly spoke to me and remained with me, just like Mike must have told you, I'm assuming. Also, when I didn't hear from you the whole day, I experienced such a strong sense of despair, I felt as though my life had suddenly gone dark, until the moment I saw you outside my door.

And if all of this can happen in the span of twenty four hours, it only seemed wrong to pull away from something that was putting an end to my anguish.

It felt just right." She answers.

They sit in silence on the couch for a few moments, heads still resting on one another, letting every word they have said to each other in the past hour sink in, completely.

Harvey shifts to look at her, and they lock eyes. He slowly leans in to kiss her lips, bringing his hands on her cheeks. She entangles her arms around his neck and kisses back. Soft, but longing. He then gently lifts her up by both his hands and heads towards her room. None of the feverishness from before, just passion and a pure aura of love. They are at the bedroom door when Donna pulls back.

"What?" He asks.

"There's whipped cream in the kitchen." She teases.

He beams, broadly.

The same Cheshire Cat beam that she visualised vowing his life to her.

He is holding the same redhead he imagined, walking down the aisle towards him.

THE END.


End file.
